Exercise on pg. 69, Think About Your Writing (pg. 70), and summarization of reading 269-284

The video for "Yes We Can" was something that seemed over-done. The video features future President Obama with Will. I. AM. and all his friends getting together to put together a music video. The message, "Yes We Can," is powerful enough, however, Will. I . AM. went overboard with using celebrities instead of the casual person. If he had used regular people instead of celebrities, I think that the video could have a much stronger position and could have a more effect on the general audience. The use of celebrities seemed that it was like the future President was trying to get elected based on who his friends are, though, I don't believe that this was officially endorsed by Mr. Obama or his campaign group. This could have been a much better video by using images of what was going on in the country and how it could be improved vice using celebrity status as a means of endorsement. 

Recently, I have written a lot of emails. However, one stands out to me the most. It stands out because, though it may be short, it clearly demonstrates my frustration with the topic in which we were talking about. The topic was about curriculum development and the lesson plan for this course. My command had to edit the lesson plan because it did not make sense with what the Training Project Plan had stated for the course purpose. Once we sent out our "red-lines," they were taken by another entity and some of the discussion points inside the lesson plan were added back in. I emailed the person who put those back in by saying that I would very much like to talk to him in person about his choices. The email showed that I did not like what he had put back in and also I wanted to see what his perspective was on this class. The following morning, he called me and we had a 45 minute conversation about what should have been in the topic. At the end of the conversation, I told him that we should do a teleconference because there was only a one-way conversation and that all interested parties needed to be involved to resolve the issues that we were having. 

To summarize the reading, it states that when it comes to arguments, everyone has them. When presenting your argument, you have to be sure to take a side, but can express the opposition's point of view. You have to be sure that the argument has appropriate context and that it can be easily followed. Most importantly the augment has to be defined, it has to matter, and if a result can be attained, what actions are needed. As an author, you have to take your time and research and in order to clearly present your point, or in this case, argument. 

Taking Stock for Paper #2

1. How did you go about analyzing the text? What methods did you use—and which ones were most helpful?
The text was helpful because it gave me the tools that I needed to craft a better analysis and paper. The one that was most helpful was analyzing the subject. This allowed me to objectively look at the two ads and determine what they were trying to convey to the audience. 
2. How did you go about drafting your essay?

I saw a picture of a baby with a razor and it got me thinking about the ad itself and then I started thinking about it more and what goes into shaving. This was more of a personal selection of ads because I use or have used all of the products that I mention in my paper at some point in my life. 

3. How well did you organize your written analysis? What, if anything, could you do to make it easier to read?
I didn't really organize anything. Most of my thoughts came as I was typing. I would have the pictures up and look at them and then go back to the paper to write. As far as reading, I'm not sure that anything else can be done.

4. Did you provide sufficient evidence to support your analysis?
I believe and I did. This paper got me out to do some outside research on the topic and I hope that it shows. 

5. What did you do especially well?
I believe that I broke down the analysis fairly well and got the point that each ad was trying to make. 

6. What could still be improved?
Tying each segment better to the previous. It seems I have trouble connecting, properly, my thoughts together to make it sound more fluid. 

7. Did you use any visuals, and if so, what did they add? Could you have shown the same thing with words?
I did have the two ads that I used. I think that the addition of having visuals reiterates to the audience, what I was trying to put out. 

8. How did other readers' responses influence your writing?
They helped me immensely because I type so fast sometimes that I completely forget to add in words, making the sentence confusing. With their help, I have gotten better at proof reading my own papers. 

9. What would you do differently next time?
I think that I would have added a few more ads because my topic was about razors. I could have done a paper on the use of shaving cream, shave soap, or shave gel along with the razors and put all of those into a well presented analysis paper. 

10. Are you pleased with your analysis? What did it teach you about the text you analyzed? Did it make you want to study more works by the same writer or artist?
I am pleased with my analysis and it taught me to look more careful at what are really saying to me. 

11. What are the transferable skills you can take from this into other writing situations?
The skills that I learned will definitely be transferrable to my next paper and will also help me with my job in the Navy. As much as we use technology, we still have to formally write some things and what I learned on this paper will help me going forward. 

In-class lab (pg.62) & group work

Things that I have a position on in the past few days:

-Healthcare
-Marijuana legalization, especially for the Navy, & use of funds
-Best NFL QB
-Weapons used in Destiny
-Curriculum Development
-Class scheduling

Advertising Lab:

Every time I’ve taken a position in the last few days:

Explaining my reasons for

1.       Staying later after night class

2.       doing cross country instead of swimming next year

3.       not going on a trip

4.       not staying at the high school for lunch

5.       why my solution to a math problem was right

6.       telling my sister to clean the car

7.       telling my sister to get my other sister from the car

8.       telling my sister we had to leave earlier than later

 

 

 

 

How does it appeal to you?

It adheres to my opinion it states the importance of every child and their feelings outside and inside the womb. The #They Feel Pain supports people who have suffered through their live children being lost. These people most likely feel that the life of any child is valuable despite any reason the parents might have for an abortion.  

                                How does it not appeal to you?

This advertisement appeals largely on a pathos/emotional basis. I may feel more inclined to accept it if I was given factual information or statistics to back up their opinion. How do they know the newly developing fetus feels pain? Is this statement, “it won’t hurt a bit” accurate when getting an abortion? I’ve done a lot of research, and read multiple scholarly articles by medical students on brain/nerve development in fetuses and the time frame legally accepted for abortion, because these questions and their possible accuracy does matter to me. But what we know is that the fetus does not at this point (4-10, or in some places 4-7 weeks after conception) have the nerve or brain development to be conscious. These two advertisements appeal on an emotional basis for a highly emotional topic, but allowing yourself to be so shocked at abortion without fully understanding the process and fetal development is deceiving. Abortion does hurt the mother, and it is not an easy decision. If you take the abortion pill rather than having a surgical abortion, which basically induces a miscarriage, mothers go through intense fevers, severe cramps, nausea, vomiting, heavy bleeding, etc. for several hours before feeling normal. Counseling is also provided through planned parenthood. Which brings me to my last point.

 

·         The second ad contrast the baby to a piece of tissue.

·         A pair of ominous looking scissors in the third

·         A fetal child with a partially developed face

·         Comparing the mother’s pain to the child’s pain, ”#theyfeelpain”

·         “Excuse me America, this is a tissue” expresses a sassy, upset tone that communicates the maker’s strong opinion on this topic

·         The words, “speak up” contained in the first ad

 

If I were to revise it for an audience supporting abortion I would put a statistic on the third ad explaining that we have no proof of when the baby is actually able to feel things and would change the hash tagged statement to say, “#care” to address the reasons that parents give for their decision. On the first and second ads I would take out the baby in both pictures. In the first I would change the picture to be of a man and woman’s hands, showing that they were in the decision together. In the second, I would put a picture of a crying woman, using tissues, and change the statement at the bottom to talk about how the negative emotions of an accidental pregnancy can be stopped by an abortion.

 

If I had to create it in a different medium, many things would change. If was to be presented orally instead of over the internet, I would exclude all of the word. This would allow for more verbal explanation and physical emphasis. I would include a more vivid picture in every circumstance to grab the attention of the audience and call them to recognize my point.   

 

 

 "Abortion in America." GeneLalor.com. Gene's Blog, 7 Mar. 2009.      

       Boyle, Patricia. "Excuse me America this is not a tissue..." Abortion in Advertising. 

                  N.p., n.d. Web 5 Nov. 2015 

      Durp, Blair. "Stop Abortion just STOP IT." Abortion. Pintrest.com,

                  N.d. Web 5 Nov. 2015  

 

Print Advertising Analysis

Josh Miller

English 101-5:30

Dr. Sonia Begert

XX November 2015

A Cut Above the Rest 

Shaving has been around for a millennia. Ancient Egyptians used sea shells and oils in order to remove not just facial hair, but body hair as well. It wasn't too hard to convince Egyptians to remove hair, since living in an area in which temperatures were sweltering hot  necessitated shedding any additional hair or clothing along with being popular among the Pharaohs. Since then, the use of such crude instruments  has evolved and so has it's advertising. Today, many men make the decision or are required to shave everyday and the choices are numerous and the competition between companies is fierce. 

At the beginning of the 1900s, men were starting to transition from regularly going to a barber to get a shave, to staying at home and using razor blades themselves. At the time there were only two types of razors on the market. The first one is the straight razor, also known as an open razor or cut-throat razor. These razors require a delicate hand and a lot patients to use. Many men would often cut themselves when first using them, resulting in frustration and many pints of blood going down the sink drain. The other type of razor on the market was the safety razor. This razor has a head in which either a singular blade or a double edge blade would be placed in the receiver and then the head would be tighten down on the blade. By having a head on the razor, this created a barrier for a man’s face, thus the term safety razor. Many men would use either one or both depending on their preferences. 

At the time of the major industrialization throughout the world, print advertising became  the preferred method of selling goods to men and women rather than through word of mouth. Advertisers would have to get creative in order to sell their products and one way to do this was to make the advertisement humorous. 

Looking at the advertisement to the left, Figure 1,  this is a perfect example of a company using humor and satire to sell their product.  This is a print advertisement from 1905 for Gillette safety razors. This ad  features a smiling, happy baby with shaving cream on his face in the form of a beard, holding a safety razor in his right hand. The ad features the words, “Begin Early” and “Shave Yourself,” indicating that the Gillette company was targeting men, both young and old, with this humorous ad. By featuring a baby in the advertisement, the company is implying several things. First, shaving is no longer restricted to professionals and with it’s razors, shaving with a Gillette safety razor is so safe and easy that an infant could do it. Additionally, they are implying that their razor blades are so safe that a baby can handle them without hurting himself. The infant is implied to be male due to the nature of the ad itself. The background is of title wall, indicating that the baby is in the bathroom where men shave. The baby is dressed in classic turn of the century garments, including a bonnet on his head. Lastly, the ad is telling men that with these particular blades, there is no need for stropping or honing. Stropping and honing are ways to sharpen the blade of a straight razor. By eliminating the need to constantly re-sharpen a blade, the clear choice is the Gillette safety razor. 

In the years since this ad was placed, men have continued to shave and many technologies for shaving had begun to emerge. By the 1930s, the electric razor was just starting to emerge as an alternative for traditional razors, straight or safety.  Using an electric razor was far easier for a man to shave with, however, many men began to experience severe razor burn with these electric razors, as the heads wouldn’t need to be replaced nearly as often and one could easily forget to replace them. Also, electric razors were just as portable as their counterparts and many men began using them while driving or upon arrival at work. The electric razor did not provide the same quality of shave as its’ counterparts, but it was good enough for everyday use. Upon that time, the straight razor was once again relegated to use by specialist barbers and began to lose their popularity. As technology began to surge for other inventions, so did the razor industry.

The advent of the exchangeable cartridge razor in the 1960s, men now had several choices of razors in which to shave with. These cartridge razors were cheap and were quite easy to shave with, allowing men to achieve that once forgotten “baby smooth face.” Through the years, disposable razors began to lead the way as the preferred method for men to shave with. The two companies that were leading the pack were Gillette and Schick. These two companies have been competitors since their inception and continue to do so, although Gillette is leading sales globally. One product the Schick has recently release is the Hydro, a razor which was meant to compete with the Gillette Fusion.

The Schick Hydro comes in a variety of styles, including a 3-blade cartridge to a 5-bladed cartridge. In Figure 2, Schick is seen as advertising the Hydro 3. This ad features two men,  apparent boxers, with one being punched in the face and the other man’s glove transitioning into a glove of water. The background is very nondescript. Schick does this to keep the viewers attention to the action that is happening in the foreground. The phrase, “Full contact hydration,” and the resulting punch exploding into water gives the viewer the impression that by using this razor, a blast of moisture will rush onto your face. The  ad attempts to back this claim up by showing how much moisturizer has been added to the moisture strip. Additionally, Schick demonstrates their claim that their blades are better because of the angle in which the blades run along the face. By using the razor to “shave” away the background further expounds on Schick’s claim that their razors are so strong that they can reveal what’s underneath your skin in order to soothe your facial area. Their tagline, “Free your skin,” indicates that the use of the razor will free you and your face from symptoms of severe dry skin.

Schick and Gillette have been using humorous and, sometimes, aggressive advertising in order to sell their products. Today, many men choose between a straight razor, a safety razor, an exchangeable cartridge, or an electric razor in order to shave. No one brand is better than the other, just one product may have something the other does not have and then it comes down to preference and price. By using choice wording and a little humor to their ads, such as Dollar Shave Club with it’s very humorous video ads, or Gillette and Schick using both print and video ads, men will continue to shave for many years to come. 

Possible Ad Choices

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/19/business/media/19adco.html?_r=0


http://www.advertisingarchives.co.uk/detail/13080/1/Magazine-Advert/Gillette/1900s

In class lab 10/27/15

Summary:
This Ad is for 'new' Rolling Rocks beer and it features a picture of the actual bottle and then a baby drinking it with it's feet. This ad is clearly using satire but at the same time advertising the drink in a funny way. Also it is addressing the fact of genetically modified food by saying that this beer is genetically modified. Also it throws in that the drink is carb free trying to appeal to the general public trying to be healthy. Overall alcohol is normally given a negative connotation but with this Ad it makes you laugh and makes your think of how the description is so off.

Paraphrase:
If you feed your baby a 6 pack of rolling rock he will turn into a genius with finely tuned motor skills. Also it is carb free so your baby will be skinny!

Quote:
"New Rolling Rock is genetically modified and clinically proven to significantly improve your baby's intelligence and motor skills with every six-pack"

Summary, Quote, & Paraphrasing

In Melissa Rubin's breakdown of a singular Coca-Cola ad from 1950, she argues that Coca-Cola has been leading the way in pushing for an ideal America. In her paper she describes how the placement of specific items within the ad are pushing workers to have this picturesque idea about American workers working together for a united country. When describing Sprite Boy, Coca-Cola's early mascot, Rubin says the he is "god-like" and "a powerful force," (178) to further illustrate her point of the company's goal of togetherness and in turn, America coming together. Additionally, she points out the emphasizing of the military personnel in the ad as to demonstrate to the reader that since WWII has been won, military men are returning the workforce, which is why they are presented in the very front of the ad. Rubin also notes the large gender and racial biases that were present in America during the late 1940’s and 50’s. As she observes,

            The way that Coca-Cola chooses to place the objects and depict men

            and women in this ad speaks volumes about American society in the

            middle of the twentieth century: a white, male-dominated society in

            servicemen and veterans were a numerous and prominent presence (179).

In her conclusion, she again remarks how Coca-Cola reflected American ideals and norms in it’s advertising, but also wanting to show the world what it was like to be an American. She says it best with her closing statement, “The message: theirs is a life to be envied and emulated, so drink Coca-Cola and live that life yourself” (180).